Honzovy vtipy a hádanky

Christmas and Halloween

Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

Dates

What is the difference between you and a calender?
A calender has dates.

Freezing computer

Why did the computer keep freezing?
Because it left its Windows open.

Complaining wife

Wife: “You care about programming more than about me.“
Husband: “Don’t worry, honey, in my array() of interests you are at position one.“

Medical student

Teacher: “What is a reason someone can’t fall asleep?“
Student: “Insomnia.“
Teacher: “So why did you write: there are monsters nearby?"

Double OO

No English word has double „OO“ except the word “FOOD“. Prove me wrong!
This is proof that preschool education is important in childhood and that choosing the right books and tools to learn is more important than Nollywood. For now, get a stool, go back to the classroom and learn some coordination. Don’t be a hooligan.

Mary helps in the kitchen

Mother: “Tell me, Mary, do you use drugs?”
Daughter: “No, mom, why?”
Mother: “Because you are chopping the onions with your bank card!”

Doctor and engineer

A doctor and engineer loved the same girl.
The doctor used to give her a rose daily. The engineer used to give the girl an apple.
The girl got confused and asked: “There is a meaning of giving rose. Why are you giving an apple?”
The engineer answers: “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.”

German kids

No matter how kind you are.
German kids are kinder.

Student on the floor

Why did the student solve multiplication problems on the floor?
Because the teacher told students not to use tables.